The Life Altering Impact of Chessy Prout’s Memoir on Me

By Brylie Turk
4 minute read

Reading Chessy’s book had a massive impact on me as the survivor of a middle school sexual assault. While I have been told time and time again “You’re not alone,” this did not truly resonate with me until learning about Chessy’s journey. I have spoken with and been encouraged by countless survivors throughout my healing, but none of them had shared my experiences of betrayal by my peers and school system, and none had been so close to my age. 

Upon reading her memoir, I realized that our assaults had occurred only a few months apart in 2014, which amplified my feeling that Chessy and I, as well as our families, have been sharing a very similar healing journey. 

Like Chessy, I am extremely fortunate to have a family that has shown me nothing but love and support since the beginning. However, there was a long time that I felt ONLY my family was there for me, as my friends and community turned their backs on us, choosing to defend my perpetrator and isolate me. My school played a large role in my re-traumatization following the assault, making countless promises to protect me that never came to fruition. I eventually had to leave the school I had attended since kindergarten as I felt targeted by my community and peers. 

Learning about Chessy’s similar experience at St. Paul’s School helped me to understand that what I went through was not my fault. Chessy and I were both deeply wronged by the institutions put in place to protect us. Our “friends” who betrayed us were never truly our friends, as they chose to act out of self interest, rather than compassion. Chessy’s memoir furthermore alleviated the guilt I felt for my family’s suffering following my assault. Her writing brought me to the understanding that I never asked for what happened to me, and I am not the one who brought my family pain. They were not hurt by me, but instead by my perpetrator’s action and our community’s response. 

Lastly, Chessy’s strength and grace despite her circumstances have inspired me to fight for myself and survivors everywhere. Her words validated my emotions and actions following my assault and brought me to the realization that my feelings were acceptable and normal. As Chessy declared so eloquently, “I have the right to be happy, sad, upset, angry, and inspired anytime during the process of my healing without being judged.” 

Although her memoir brought me to tears every time I opened it, it also set a fire under me to stand up and hold both institutions and individuals accountable for their poor responses and inaction. I am so proud to be working with I Have The Right To as we fight to bring about change and demand better from our institutions. 

To each and every survivor reading this, remember that you are not alone. We stand with you and support you on every step of your journey.