An Honest Reaction to Inside Out 2

By Patricia Adams

I was a couple of months away from 8th grade and my 14th birthday when I first watched Inside Out in a movie theater with my mother and younger sister. I recall appreciating the clever story and being able to picture my own “Family Island” and homes for the activities I cherished most– Ballet Island, Student Leadership Laguna, Church Group Grove.

At the time, I recall the movie being a sweet story about a strong young girl, and relating to the emotions Riley felt, along with some other vague feelings that I didn’t yet fully understand. Just a few steps into my adulthood, I wouldn’t venture to say I fully understand my emotions now, but it has been special to grow alongside this duo of movies.  

The second time I watched Inside Out was in the spring of my junior year of high school, in my AP Psychology class. Watching Inside Out at 17 was a different experience, certainly a more stirring one. Armed with insights from my psychology course, and, as I would have sworn to you then, a complete understanding of my now almost adult psyche, I watched Riley’s life transition with more compassion and self-reflection. I did not move around as a child, in fact, I went to the same district of schools for 13 years, the same church, the same ballet studio, and lived in the same house. Riley’s internal battle with a cross-country move outside of her control, though, in many ways, equaled my own battle for control over my relationship with myself, my mental health, and with my parents. What I remember feeling is that I wished the adults in my life had better expressed to me that life is hard, can be confusing, and often the hardest parts are outside of our control, a lack of control underscored by age. 

Today, I am just a couple of months shy of my 23rd birthday.  I am now considered fully an adult and in May I graduated from the University of Georgia. My best friend and sorority sister from college sat next to me smiling knowingly and giggling a little bit at my teary eyes, as we watched Inside Out 2 in a cozy movie theater in our dear college town. As I watched the heroine Riley push herself at hockey camp, I recalled feeling each of the emotions she felt: the need to perform and impress the older girls, the pressure I felt to be the absolute best I could be, and even the isolation I ultimately felt from the anxious need for perfection. I sat, mouth agape, and tears streaming, as I watched the anxiety attack that gripped Riley while she sat in the penalty box. The background of my childhood anxiety was different but in that movie theater, it was unmistakable that I was hearing, in my own younger voice, the same phrase that Riley could not shake, “I’m not good enough.” 

“I sat, mouth agape, and tears streaming, as I watched the anxiety attack that gripped Riley while she sat in the penalty box.”

While I realize now ballet was my first toxic relationship, I loved it deeply, and in return, I questioned my self-worth. Perfection is a myth ballet masters sell to their dancers to push them, forcing them to place their self-worth in their art. Vulnerable and set on perfection, the battle for my self worth had another player- my father: instead of having the sons he craved, had two strong daughters, both deeply committed to ballet. He did not shy away from expressing to us how much he wished we were boys, or at least played sports. I nevertheless resisted.  And one day,too,  I found the strength to resist ballet’s incessant call that I wasn’t enough also. I think that the headstrong, though unsure, young dancer I once was would be proud of the comfortable, confident, and healed young woman I now am.  Breaking off my 13 year love affair with ballet was not easy, but it allowed me to take ownership of the things I desire and deserve:  that I am enough. While I wish I had been able to learn this earlier in my life, I realize it is no small feat to feel this way, and something many struggle with throughout their lives. Much like Riley, I was able to reassess my value and recenter focus towards myself and ability to grow.

Some of the commentary about Inside Out 2 includes calls for more representation of male emotions.  Ruth Whippman, author of BOYMOM, shared some of her concerns about the forced perception of male emotion through the film. In the first film, when we experience the inside of Riley’s parents’ minds, her mother’s emotional team is led by Sadness, and her father’s led by Anger. For young girls, like me, whose father’s emotional dashboard was always twinged with a little bit of angry crimson, the relatability overshadows Whippman’s great concerns about the male characters and their emotional expression. Dumb men jokes are ubiquitous, and easy to consume when you are unburdened by their impact. Whippman, however, as a mother of three younger boys, does carry that burden, as should Pixar. Gen Z women have been well-fed with media about girlhood, Barbie’s empowerment, thanks to Greta Gerwig. Now that we are all grown up, we also got to return to Riley’s story. Pleased to have done so, but old enough to understand the ramifications of media- I join Whippman in her concerns about what Inside Out 2 is lacking. 

We encourage girls to be willing and able to dialogue about their feelings and reinforce that with the media we share with them. For boys, the same media built confirmation bias that they are to feel nothing, but if something, only anger; not only that, it teaches young girls to expect and accept anger as a man’s primary emotion. As I’ve come to know many survivors of sexual assault through my own journey and my new career, I am now well aware of how dangerous this is.

It is my honor now, following my college graduation, to be working alongside a team combating this status quo, and fostering meaningful conversations with adolescents about the ownership of their voice and their emotional growth. I Have The Right To is a sexual assault education and prevention organization that works directly with students to teach them about mutual respect, consent, and healthy relationships. Part of this important work is creating a space to talk to young men about what they have been taught in terms of masculinity and what it takes to be a “good man.” We work to break through the stereotypes that the patriarchy enforces- which most have come to see as harmful to women but is also hurting our boys in very serious, long-lasting ways. In the post #MeToo world, parents of boys must take on the mantle of raising respectful, emotionally intelligent men, ones who aspire to a higher level of masculinity. As our parenting and education styles adjust, writers and directors must also make conscious and intentional decisions to include our boys in the conversations on emotional intelligence- showcasing boys and men with a full range of emotions that they embrace and work to understand. While I am grateful  to feel personal healing – I realize now, that we are ready for Inside Out 3 — and helping the sexes co-exist with equality of respect – and emotional depth.