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One of the questions we are asked most often by parents is how to prevent sexual assault from happening to their child. Unfortunately, the only person who can prevent sexual assault is a perpetrator, but there are steps every parent can take now to open channels of communication with their child (no matter the age) about healthy relationships, sex, and consent. 

Talking about the risk of sexual assault with your child often means first talking about the opposite: healthy relationships. No matter the age of your child, be sure to regularly express to them that you want them to have healthy, safe relationships. This post talks more about how to do this.

Unfortunately, conversations with your children cannot end at healthy, safe relationships. Parents need to teach children how to identify when someone in their community is not acting appropriately and what they can do about it. Read on for how.

By Michael Hill and Alex Prout

To my children, you have seen all too well that the institutions that are meant to protect you often fail and that justice is often unfairly on the side of whoever has the most to lose. I vow to do my part to change this. Here is my Father’s Day promise to you. 

Vice Chair and Co-Founder of I Have The Right To Alex Prout engaged CEO Martin Waters of Victoria’s Secret and hundreds of employees in a conversation about gender equity and allyship from men and boys during a company Town Hall.  This address is part of the $90 million spend on strengthening the process to report and investigate sexual harassment cases and improve diversity and inclusion governance.

Receiving your child’s disclosure of sexual assault is likely one of the most tragic and gut-wrenching moments of your life. It is the conversation that no parent wants, and yet one that every parent must be prepared for. Below, we lay out what to keep in mind when having this conversation and what to say each step of the way. We will refer to these moving forward as the A.B.L.L.E.^TM phrases.

You reported your sexual assault, underwent a sexual assault forensic examination, and you have just learned that the perpetrator is about to be criminally charged. Here is what to expect once charges are filed.

Reporting your assault to law enforcement is a difficult decision.

Here are five tips to keep in mind before, during, and after a police interview.

Many survivors of sexual assault are confused by how they acted during the assault itself. 

The truth is that there is no correct response to being sexually assaulted. It is also helpful to know the common responses that our bodies and brains have to trauma. When the human brain recognizes a threat, the autonomic nervous system reacts, releasing hormones that trigger physical changes to our bodies to protect us. These reactions are usually characterized in four ways – fight, flight, freeze, and fawn:

Supporting a survivor through their recovery from sexual assault can feel scary, uncertain, or daunting. Though no two journeys are identical, there are general stages of recovery that caregivers should be aware of. 

As you spend time learning about each one, keep in mind that recovery is rarely a linear process. A survivor who is in the third stage of recovery may go back to stage one or two in response to a life event, memory, or uncovered emotion. 

Following a sexual assault, your child will display a range of behaviors and emotions. In some cases, these behaviors are symptoms of a broader diagnosis: post-traumatic stress disorder, also known as PTSD. 

PTSD is a condition of mental and emotional stress in someone who experienced trauma themselves, someone who witnessed it firsthand, or someone who had it happen to someone they love. Though it is often associated with combat veterans, PTSD can happen to any survivor of trauma. In fact, it’s more common than you might think. It is estimated that 1 in 11 people will be diagnosed with PTSD at some point in their lives.

Alex Prout, the father of high school survivor, Chessy Prout and Co-Founder of the national nonprofit I Have The Right To Org Inc., spoke in Hong Kong at the Women’s Foundation of Hong Kong Gala annual fundraising gala event. Prout discussed the pursuit of gender equality in a thought-provoking panel discussion and why he became a Male Ally.

Under the theme of “Rising Voices”, it was a memorable night to recognize and celebrate courageous voices coming together in the pursuit of gender equality.

This year, as part of the Summit on Sexual Assault and Consent, we are opening up the event to parents. The program is on November 17th from 9 – 4:15 at GDS, and for $35/person, parents can sign up to attend (parents can sign up as an “extra registrant” and put “parent” as their title). If the cost is prohibitive, we have some flexibility – parents can contact me directly.

The program is available to both GDS parents as well as parents outside of our community – parents are welcome to share these links widely. (This year, we have schools from Connecticut, New York, and Georgia attending, as well as local schools!).