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By: Brylie Turk, Student Outreach Intern
3 minute read
Thursday February 26th, Steve Peacock, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and member of I Have The Right To’s Board of Directors, joined Evan Dawson for an interview for WXXI’s Connections segment (see the link below). In the interview, Steve openly shares his experience of being targeted, groomed, and then sexually abused for years in his own home by his neighbor, starting at when he was only 10 years old, and how he spoke up years later, at the age of 52 years.
Fact: the average age of disclosure of sexual assault is currently 52.
Many survivors refer to what happened to them. Steve powerfully says “what was done to me.” He goes on to say “nothing happened to me. This was not a passive event. This was a very deliberate, calculated event.”
Steve decided to share his story publicly after connecting with Alex Prout, I Have The Right To Co-Founder, and learning about Chessy’s courage to tell her own story, which became the inspiration for him to break decades of silence. After speaking with Alex, Steve came to the realization that “I am not alone, I am not isolated, I am not unseen.” Upon realizing that people truly cared about his situation, he joined I Have The Right To’s Board and mission to create an ecosystem of respect and support for students and survivors of sexual assault. Steve credits the Prouts’ influence on his personal journey saying “I draw my strength from Chessy, and now a number of other survivors.”
Steve discusses how our society amplifies issues surrounding sexual abuse and vulnerably admits that he was once part of the problem, “my insensitive joking, locker room talk, and inappropriate behavior supported this culture of sexual violence, which had indeed impacted me.” He describes how his abuse negatively affected his development and his perspective of healthy relationships, claiming that he behaved offensively and sexually inappropriately, both publicly and in his private relationships. He explains that attending his first Women’s March with his female friends and family members completely changed his perspective, bringing him to the realization that “it was all connected,” referring to the microaggressions, harassment, and behaviors that contribute to the culture of sexual violence.
When asked to address pornography, Steve shares his perspective on how pornography impacts our culture as “it destroys someone’s perception of healthy relationships” and contributes to the objectification of women, giving young boys unrealistic and confusing expectations of intimate relationships. When asked if pornography should be illegal, Steve says pornography, as it exists today, should be illegal unless it is redefined as a depiction of healthy relationships. And all child pornography is obviously illegal.
Last October, Steve shared his story at the all-boys’ school, McQuaid Jesuit High School, where he was once a student. Steve’s speech was received with a standing ovation of hundreds of high school students and staff.
During the interview, John Serafine, Director of Student Counseling and College Advising at McQuaid, encourages students to bring their issues to school authorities, as “school can be an avenue of action against sexual assault.” Bo Thomas, a senior at McQuaid, discusses the impact of Steve’s speech. He reveals that Steve changed his own perspective on sexual assault, bringing him to the realization that sexual violence impacts 1 in 13 boys, “I looked around my senior class of 130 and was like, the math says a ton of my peers have experienced something similar to this.”
Steve warns the students about the negative influences of locker room talk and the ‘boys will be boys’ sentiment on the culture of sexual violence, teaching them that this culture can be combated with an ecosystem of respect. As Bo explains, it’s important to “draw the line between ‘this is acceptable’ and ‘this is not.’”
Steve ends the interview by saying that our culture is at “a moment where people are ready to say ‘stop the madness. Enough is enough!’…It is a time for us to stand up where we have privilege, opportunities, and access to use our voices, our wallets, and our votes to end this.” He calls on us to “be very deliberate about how we can change and impact the culture,” as “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
Sexual violence is not an issue that can be fixed if we refuse to look at it. Steve calls on bystanders to pick a side, and for our society to educate ourselves, listen to other voices, resist the culture, and to choose to believe survivors.
Steve’s interview can be accessed here, and his McQuaid presentation can be accessed here (Steve begins speaking at 24:31).