The Building Blocks to Preventing Sexual Assault

One of the questions we are asked most often by parents is how to prevent sexual assault from happening to their child. Unfortunately, the only person who can prevent sexual assault is a perpetrator, but there are steps every parent can take now to open channels of communication with their child (no matter the age) about healthy relationships, sex, and consent. 

To start, spend time talking about (and modeling) foundational relationships skills. Discuss what it means to identify and manage emotions. Practice and encourage asking for help. Talk to your child about boundaries. Teach them how to set their own and how to accept others’ boundaries. Talk to your child about relationships in the context of friendship. Ask them what makes a good friend and the signs of a person who isn’t acting like a good friend.

Reject the myth that there is only one “talk.” Teaching our children about anatomy and sex should be an ongoing discussion. Begin at an early age by referring to body parts by their anatomically correct name. As a child gets older, discuss sex in an age-appropriate and scientifically accurate way. Encourage your child to ask questions and answer them truthfully and accurately.

Approach all conversations as an opportunity to name and model consent. Ask your child if it is okay if their friend calls them a nickname. Avoid telling your child to go to hug or kiss another family member, and give them the option to say “no” if they are asked to do so. Pets and siblings are great teachers of consent, too. Point out if the dog snarls if her tail is grabbed. Ask your child if he thinks his brother wants to be picked up right now. 

Above all, encourage and empower your child to use their voice. Try our Consent Conversation Cards to initiate a conversation about consent and sex with older kids. Even outside conversations about sex, help your child find and use their voice by asking them open-ended questions on a regular basis, no matter their age. Practice active, patient listening as you allow your child to develop a thoughtful response.

None of this is easy, but with intention, commitment, and sometimes even humor, your efforts will benefit you both.  Talking to your child from an early age will establish the precedent for open and honest communication, and will teach them they can trust you and come to you when something feels  hard.

Along with empowering your child, remember that you have the power to influence the community at large. Ask school administrators, church pastors, and coaches what they do to keep students safe from sexual assault and speak out when you receive an unsatisfactory response.

You’ve got this!